The Boom, Part Two
April 25, 2002

Well, now. That's kind of disturbing.

I've been checking the traffic reports for this site, and there's an overwhelming number of people who found the site by searching for "pimped out cars," "low rider models," and other key words found in my rant griping about those idiot kids and their booming stereos and cars that look like they have shopping car handles on the back.

I also got a couple entries in my guestbook by a poor misguided soul who thought it necessary to call me "fucking gay" and brag that he spent over $45,000 pimping out his car. It was a Honda or a Nissan. Can't really remember which, but it's not like it matters.

But how sad is that? To spend that much money on some POS car? I doubt anyone as mentally challenged as that dork actually had 45K to spend, unless he cleared out his parents' retirement fund, but just for the helluvit, let's assume it's trure. Shit. Give me that much cash and I'm going to be cruising around in a BMW Z-3, and use the other $10,000 to go on one helluva tropical vacation. Fuck the beemer. I'd sooner buy one brand new Jeep Wrangler, and have a $25,000 left over for a down payment on a new house.

I certainly wouldn't spend that much to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood.

And I certainly wouldn't spend it on something that depreciated in value instantly. Take one $15,000 car, add $10,000 worth of ground effects and sound equipment to it, and what do you have when you go to sell it? A $7,500 car, if you're lucky. From an economical standpoint, it's one of the worst possible investment you could make, right after Enron stock.

But what really gets me is that this slimy little weasel with his fucked up priorities had the nerve to be mad at ME for stating my opinion that he is a slimy little weasel with fucked up priorities. And a small penis.

If anything, I should be the one who's pissed at him and his sort for being such assholes in the first place. Hey, spend all the money you want on your little rice-burner. It doesn't bother me one bit if you want to throw money out the window. Just don't blast your fucking stereos so loud that I can't even hear my own obnoxiously loud stereo in my own home.

Ok. So I am pissed. But I don't search out their pimpin' message boards or the guestbooks on their pimpin' sites to flame them for being asses. I suppress my desire to scratch "YOU SUCK ASS!" on their cars with my keys when I see them in a parking lot. I just point, giggle, and make a funny little snorking sound when I laugh at you, but I doubt you could see that through your tinted windows, and I know you couldn't hear it above your stereo. Bah, you couldn't hear an AK-47 over that noise.

And also, I do my bitching and ranting on my own site, that I pay for, with my own money. Want your opinion heard? Start your own goddamn website. Oh, you don't have the money? Pity you spent so much on your car.

See Also:
The Boom
The Boom, Part Three